SAM’S BLOG
Should I Fire my Lawyer
About half of divorcing people report that they are unhappy with their lawyers. Some are so unhappy that they fire their lawyer and hire another one. And some of those people find that they are just as unhappy with the new lawyer. There are even a few poor souls who...
My Lawyer seems Friendly with my spouse’s lawyer. Should I worry?
Many people believe that an adversary legal system means that lawyers must fight with each other. People also believe that lawyers must be aggressive in order to be effective. The swaggering, loud and pugnacious lawyer is assumed to have an advantage in that he/she is...
Filing Comes Last
Few things are more disappointing than finding out that your divorce really didn’t solve very much. You have endured all the changes required, adapted to smaller housing, not seeing your kids every day, tighter budgets, fewer resources and the rigors of trying to...
Conflict Resolution after Divorce
Few things are more disappointing than finding out that your divorce really didn’t solve very much. You have endured all the changes required, adapted to smaller housing, not seeing your kids every day, tighter budgets, fewer resources and the rigors of trying to...
How Can We Determine If We Can Afford Divorce?
Many unhappy couples who would otherwise seek a divorce remain unhappily married because one or both believe that they cannot afford to divorce. Typically, these couples have long lived beyond their means accruing significant credit card debt that weighs them down and...
A Cautionary Divorce Story
Jeff Master had called to make an appointment for him and his wife Janet for a first mediation appointment. Three days later the couple was sitting in my office for our meeting and as usual I took a history. They had been married 19 years and had two children ages 11...
Framing the Decision to Divorce
I am frequently consulted by people who have decided to divorce but are procrastinating because they feel guilty about ending the marriage. I also see many couples in which the partner who doesn't want the divorce chides the one who is initiating with the...
Another Lawyer Hustle
Robert and Kim were getting divorced. They were generally amicable and had discussions on most of their issues. They were in an agreement that they would have equal joint custody of their two children. They agreed that their assets should be split equally and that the...
When Men Yell
A couple sits in my office and both are upset. I mediated their divorce a few months ago and they have returned for a session to resolve a visitation issue. They had settled on joint custody of their two daughters age 12 and 9. But recently the older daughter had...
Your New Colleague: How to Talk to Your Ex
A common issue that arises with divorcing couples is that they get into fights about how one talks to the other. "I can't stand it when she yells at me and I'm not going to take it." "When he speaks in that condescending tone to me I want to hit him with something."...